Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
