it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
