I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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