i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
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