also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
