I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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