She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
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