Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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