I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
