By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
