You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
