so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
