IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
