pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
