That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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