Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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