Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
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