If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
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