when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
