can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
