It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Randomize
