Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Still dying that you shit outside
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Randomize
