found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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