Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
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