just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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