did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
