peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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