She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
