Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
