Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
