i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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