i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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