I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
