Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
