I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Randomize
