I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
