I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Randomize
