She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Randomize
