Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
This baby is an asshole
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
