It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
You were trust falling into bushes
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
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