man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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