He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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