She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
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