And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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