I cannot find my penis.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Randomize
