So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Well I just put wine in my tea
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Randomize
