Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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