I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
