yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
