your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Randomize
