Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
