it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
