if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
